How do we connect with our baby during pregnancy and labor & delivery?
For some parents, the birth of their baby is a joyful and invigorating experience. However, for most parents they are left feeling unsure and confused about this new human they are responsible for, yet nobody talk about it. So let's talk about it.
Oxytocin is a REAL THING and its job is to help you bond. Oxytocin is a hormone that is released to encourage connection during acts such as sex, breast feeding, touching your loved ones, etc.
However, there are so many things going on during labor and delivery that not everyone has a rush of oxytocin. There is no shame in this! It is just a difference of biology and experience.
To encourage the release of connecting hormones there are a few things you can do pre and post delivery.
In this blog post we will discuss some ways you can encourage the bonding of baby prenatally and the next blog post will be focused on after baby is here.
So what can we do during pregnancy to support the connection between caregiver and baby?
Prenatal Connection:
1) Read or Sing to baby when they are developing in your belly.
Studies show babies are able to recognize their parent’s voice from inside the womb
beginning in third trimester. So dad’s get comfortable talking to the bump (with your
partner’s permission of course!) and mama’s warm up those vocal chords!
2) Begin a spiritual connection with baby.
Prayers, hope journals and even manifesting meditations can be beautiful practices to
begin for your child in pregnancy to increase the spiritual bond that is forming throughout the physical development in the womb.
3) Nesting.
You have probably heard this term floating around any mama group or new dad forum on social media as a cue that baby is heading your way. By picking out clothes, gathering diapers, building the crib, or even organizing the tupperware cabinet , you can keep your mind focused on the change that is coming; Your new baby. This can encourage the eagerness or anticipation of this new addition to your world.
Labor & Delivery Connection:
1) Creating a stress free birthing space.
Low lighting, calming music, comfortable clothing, partners engagement and attention,
trusting medical/birthing team. In establishing a calming environment your body’s
nervous system will signal to your body to relax rather than focus on the stressful surges during labor.
2) Prepare by addressing your nerves or fears.
Talk to your partner, therapist or doula about any
nerves or fears you might be having about labor. In processing these things with a perinatal specialist it can help prepare you in what to expect and plan for different scenarios that might arise. In creating a birth preference list while you are not in the throws of labor, you can focus on getting your baby here safely.
3) Skin to Skin following delivery.
Now that baby is here, we want to encourage as much bonding as possible in those first
few moments. Holding baby on your chest has long lasting effects on the bond between parent and baby. These are baby’s first moments out of the womb, so it can be quite alarming. In feeling mom’s skin and hearing her heart beat it can be very soothing to baby. Same goes for dad! As soon as baby is ready, passing them to get some skin to skin time with dad can really encourage the bonding experience for both baby and dad.
Connection is the goal
There are some practical ways to encourage the bond with baby even before they get here! Check out our next blog post for tips on how to grow this bond after baby is born.
Resources: